Another trip to London on matters unrelated to study. Not clear how this went - at this stage it often comes down to something small and/or out of one's control. But in general it all seemed to go ok from where I was. I will hear in a few days time whether I am going to the next (and last) stage.
The preparation for this has taken many hours away from study. I am currently estimating that I have lost maybe 50 hours so far to this project, mainly through having to read loads of material, none of which is exactly thrilling. But it needs to be done as the opportunities to be caught out with a silly mistake having not done the reading are frequent.
There is also the mental psyching-up that takes place before such events; the constant imaginings of what could occur and how one would respond, and so on. Though I am finished in London by before 12:00, the rest of the day is pretty much a write-off as I feel very drained. I tried to do some Latin homework on the journey back but it wasn't a great success given the need to refer to three things at once. Perhaps that's why people like the seats with tables downstairs on the coach.
Hard to be enthusiastic about the process overall. I am convinced it is all a mistake and I see little reason to be involved in it. I hate doing the prep work as it distracts me from my "real work". It all seems to look back to an earlier part of my life which I had hoped was gone for good. Such a move seems highly regressive compared to what the future could hold. I can't believe that I would look back on this in the future with any degree of pride, compared to what I would ideally like to do going forward.
A sad realisation I would say.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment