Reflections on the last 12 months of study

As it is nearly time for the new term to start, I have been reflecting on the things stand out most from the last 12 months. I realise that the last year has seen some very major changes from this time last year - indeed it has been a continual process of change really

This time last year I had been reading various scholarly woorks on Galileo and then found myself reading a biography of Frances Yates - I had always really admired her work (I have most of her books). But now I wonder why I spent so much time on this. It was partly to link to her life as a late-starting academic I suspect. And I was planning to read more on Giordano Bruno - her main research figure. In the end, I did manage the Rowland biography but never made it to the Ash Wednesday Supper.

By contrast, reading the Lakatos / Feyerabend correspondence (For and Against Method) was a lot of fun. It led me to Agassi's book on Popper, and even more reading on academic matters. Over the year, my view of Lakatos went down, while that of Feyerabend went up. I re-read Feyerabend's autobiography (Killing Time) and thoroughly enjoyed that again. But his Conquest of Abundance remained unread for yet another year - how often have I intended to read this?

I was distracted for a number of weeks by the project I worked on for the conference in the US that Miklos gave me the details of. Though I was sort of disappointed not to get selected, it would have been a bit beyond me to have actually done something of adequate standard for this event - so good that I wasn't selected. But I did waste 4-6 weeks on this.

My dissertation plans went through many changes, following the frequent pattern of starting with far too general a topic and gradually fining down. Of course I haven't actually done anything on my dissertation since the spring when I found that I couldn't submit it this year. My latest plans range from either doing something focused on Steven Shapin's work, to more extreme ideas of doing something completely different - maybe more related to my biography project.

And throughout the year I didn't do anything like enough writing. Too much reading, too much note taking, not enough actual writing in response to questions. Correcting this is my main goal in the new academic year

One new area of academic work that I didn't really know anything about prior to this year is the electronic access to journals and the ability to do vast searches through them in relatively quick time. Initially I printed out loads of articles but then realised that they could be saved on the PC instead. I reviewed years of some journals (e.g. Isis) and found loads of interesting stuff. But I also realised just how much has been covered already by academics and I did tend to wonder where gaps might be that I could fit into. I am still wondering

This last year saw increasing use of the Radcliffe Science Library. I have held a Bodleian reading ticket for many years but not really used it much. Recently this has changed a bit and I have worked through all 39 volumes of the Journal of the History of Astronomy in great detail. Again this has showed me just how much work others have already done in the areas that interest me most and is part of the reason for considering a biographical project rather than genuine, original research.

One interesting way of thinking about this has been my thought that when I started the course I would have rated by detailed knowledge of the history of science (esp astronomy) as being 7/10, based on years of my own reading. But now I think that I was actually a 3/10 when I started. So much new stuff has come to my attention over the last year

I have enjoyed the interaction with the other people on the course. My "best friend" was probably Caroline, then perhaps Victor and Leonardo. All had interesting pasts, interesting ideas, interesting plans for the future. One or two people on the course seemed to be genuinely creative thinkers, others considerably less so. In general, I enjoyed the seminars I attended more than I expected, though often thought that the quality of material produced by others was not great.

One major digression over the year was into the study of philosophy of history and various topics in historiography. I knew little about this before and have spent a considerable time pondering on it over the last year. Indeed, I hope to attend a course on it this year at LSE and consider it more formally.

Oddly enough, Ienjoying PH400 more than I expected. I avoided most of the topics that I already knew a lot about and instead spent quite a while on the Sociology of Scientific Knowledge - again an area that I knew little about but which has made significant in roads into history of science and with which I wholly disagree.

I am concerned about my lack of original thought but at the same time the experience has led me to a great sense of regret about not being an academic. Generally I don't believe it is sensible to regret things as regrets are subject to ceteris paribus clauses that make them nonsense. But it is pretty clear that I am much more suited to academic work than any other type. For instance, I would love to teach a history of science course.

This last topic also links to some degree to my feelings of the lack of support that I have for what I am doing. It would be nice to feel that I have some support from other people in my life. Indeed it would be nice if other people were just neutral. But the constant and vehement opposition to it has been a constant source of sadness over the year. Indeed, at times it has comfortably overwhelmed any joy I was obtaining from the course. And I suspect this issue isn't going to go away soon either

Yet for many periods I have been able to work 9-10 hours per day. I still often doesn't seem enough, but I have covered vast areas. I suffer the continual feeling that I should already know so much more than I do. I suspect this is a common feeling with post-grads

So the main plan for 2009/10 - WRITE MORE