Silent Retreat Day two

Sunday October 7th 2007

Gaia House, nr Newton Abbot, Devon

Five Day Silent Meditation Retreat - Day two . . . . . .

Things have already taken a turn for the worst - it appears that one of my roomies is a cronic snorer. Not just a little bit of a snorer, but an amazing snorer, both in frequency of snore and volume. I am woken at about 10:00pm, just 25 minutes after going to bed. I reckon the sound is louder than I can shout. The hours slowly drag on as I fail to get back to sleep. At one point I timed some of his breathing and he is clocking up a rather rapid 55 breaths a minute. Then all goes silent for a minute or two and I become convinced that he has had a heart attack and died. Suddenly I am concerned at the thought that I will know his time of death to the exact second. And when the police ask me how it is I come to know this so exactly I will be able to tell them it is because I was timing his snores by the light of my little alarm clock in a spirit of mindfullness and enquiry. It is rather a relief when he starts snooring again soon after.

Eventually it is time to get up to prepare for some bell-ringing but 30 mins sleep has not set me up well for the day. I decide not to skip as I move through the building hitting my bell.

Qi Gong at 6:30 features lots of tapping of the body, hip rolls and various other playful moves, almost all of which could have come from one of Elena's sessions. All through the short first meditation my back hurts and I'm tired and grumpy. Breakfast is porridge with fruit. As I am in bad mood I decide to have a whole banana when it clearer says we can only have half each. I also eat half a Fruit'n'nut bar which I seem to have brought with me by accident. Almost certainly there is a rule somewhere about contraband chocolate.

My first hour of work for the house is spent helping wash up the stuff from breakfast. We seem to finish quicker than perhaps intended so I crept back to my room for a brief rest.

Our first meditation instruction this morning and my back really hurts so I take some painkillers. I am unable to keep coming back to my breath and am not happy. It occurs to me that the main reason the retreat is silent is so that we can't complain to each other. I can't wait for lunch, our main meal of the day. This turns out to be the classic retreat food - lentil stew with brown rice. Actually very nice, much to my surprise, but I am still forced to finish all the remainder of my chocolate bar that I had hoped I might make last for the entire course. I do get another hour of sleep over the lunch break though.

For the afternoon's sitting I decide to try a new posture - kneeling in hero pose on two cushions. This is much better on both the knees and back, though the latter only really seems happy if I am lying down. More Qi Gong that sorts of passes in a blur, and the final meditation sitting of the afternoon - a short 30 mins that I manage in half adept pose.

Then we have our first group session - 7 of us with Brad, our Qi Gong man. I volunteer some thoughts first and talk about how I am distracted by thinking about their teaching technique - the "how" of their lessons, not the "what". Next to me is a rather scary biker from East London who goes next and explains that away from retreats, he is a pretty tough sort of guy - overall I might have guessed that. Brad thinks we both have issues due to the continuing momentum of the world before the retreat - good to know we have something in common. One woman says she has no idea what she is doing here and is hating every minute. She looks pretty unhappy and is wrapped up in her coat - perhaps so she can make a fast getaway if needbe. I decide not to mention my almost total lack of sleep as that might not seem a sufficiently serious issue at this stage. We are supposed to overcome such inconveniences. Lots of others seem to have issues as well - mostly far more serious than mine it must be said. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone first.

Tea is courgette and potato soup and a hunk of bread with jam on it. Again I am regretting having eaten all my chocolate. I wonder if there is any in the car.

But during one of the evening meditation sessions I do have an idea for my "elective" on my yoga course. It will be called "The purpose of Meditation - Yoga and Buddhism in the West" and will address why yoga in the West is viewed principally as a form of exercise, while meditation in the West is almost always from a Buddhist perspective. Or something like that. The first success of the retreat - I have a title for my elective!

Later on, at one of our breaks, I scribble some notes on this. We are not supposed to write anything down while on retreat but I feel that I need to get a few things down else I'll forget them. I then fall asleep and miss a Qi Gong session. Things are not going well.

Our "Dharma talk" this evening features a discussion of the distractions caused by a fly in the meditation hall earlier. It is refered to as the koan of the fly. I can't remember what was said about it though. Perhaps I should buy a recording if it as apparently they record all the Dharma talks. It crosses my mind that we could record my snoring roomie and could play it to meditate by - that would sort the easily distracted from the less distracted.

Our first walking meditation can take place outside and I wander up and down the garden looking at the few stars that are out. For the first time in 5 years or so, I see a shooting star. Any significance? Probably just that I need to go star gazing more often .

And remember - "the meteorite is the the source of the light and the meteor's just what we see"
Bed by 9:31 - I virtually ran up the stars when the day end.