Silent Retreat Day Five

Wednesday October 10th 2007

Gaia House, nr Newton Abbot, Devon

Five Day Silent Meditation Retreat - Day five . . . . . .

Another good night's sleep in the yoga room and awake at 5:00 feeling very good.

I am aware that much of my blog about the retreat has tended to deal with the distractions and small amount of activity that we have actually done, but of course the main part of the retreat is spent sitting in silence in a room of strangers for hours on end, focusing on the breath, noting bodily discomforts, noting the various distractions as they arise and returning all the time to the breath. There is not much more to it than that, but it provides an ever-deepening practice. I haven't yet really got the words to describe it more fully, other than by the statement I made in the last entry that slowly it all begins to work its magic.

My fear that someone would hide the bell during the retreat and I'd have no way to wake everyone up proves unjustified and I am soon into my yoga routine joined by Chrissie again.

We have a slightly different routine as it is just a half day. Qi Gong and the first sitting are slightly curtailed so one of the managers can do a small admin speech. Attempts are made to arrange car pools so people can get to the station, etc.

Our longer morning sitting includes discussions of Dana giving - the manner in which the IM tradition arranges income for teachers. I have no idea how much to give as there is no opportunity for discussion of this as we are still in silence. I pick my figure and write them a cheque, plus one to the general trust fund. Other parts of the closing session cover taking things forward. We have one last walking session in the hall and a full circle sitting where we are encouraged to make eye contact with people for the first time in five days. We repeat the chant from a few days earlier - Lokaha Samastaha Sukhino bhavantu - may all beings find wellbeing (!!). Finally there is a closing circle to share any last thoughts and a short guided metta meditation of just a few minutes. For the first time in a long time I feel part of a community of like minded people.

Our silence is then lifted. We put away all the mats and cushions and make our way to the library where there is a book sale (I buy three!) and out to the garden. I have a few people I'd like to say something to. To Chrissie, about her yoga. To the girl whose name I never knew who had wanted to quit on day one but stuck it out to the end and who did, in the end, really enjoy it. Back in my room I talked to both the snorer (who apparently used to work at Hartwell Landrover just up the road from us) and to Karl. He has slept two nights in the lounge it turned out having also had the same response to the snoring. And it turns out that Matthew, who killed the rabbit, is a G.P. and so might be thought to have rather more knowledge of life and death than many of us.

And I had a brief chat to Phoebe, the girl who had passed me with such purpose on her walk yesterday. She hadn't known the location of a shop but had just wanted to walk quickly - she didn't find a pub either! She mentioned she was a journalist and was planning to write about the retreat for London Lite magazine and felt a bit guilty about writing some things down. But when I mentioned that one person had killed a rabbit she seemed less worried by her breaching of the five precepts we were trying to live by. I mentioned we were keen on knowing more about how journalists come to write articles on things like WBB's plans and when I described WBB to her she thought it sounded very good. When I said we were pitching to the sort of people who read "Psychologies" magazine and that our first adverts were appearing there soon, it turned out that she was going to be working for them in the future. So she scribbled down her email address for me and wants to find out more.

People have mostly left by 2:00 and I was all set to meet with Kate, who, it turns out, I had been sitting next to at lunch that day. We settle in her office at the top of the main building and I take her through my carrer in finance and also the sort of thing I would be looking for in the work they need doing. The upshot is that she will have one of the trustees call me very soon and we will take things from there. If I do go ahead, I will be expected to attend more retreats but I wouldn't have to pay for them.

And so I departed from Gaia House at about 3:30pm. I'm soon on the motorway with busy traffic and noise. I listened to the radio and some music for the first time in days. And speak to Linda, who has had a rough few days. One of the ladies who attends her aerobic class in Longworth has been knocked down and killed on the A420 at the end of our road. Linda cancelled her Tuesday class as a mark of respect and had to call everyone to let them know. So not a good period.

Back home I have a long hot bath and start to get my thoughts toegther for writing all this!