Silent Retreat Day Four

Tuesday October 9th 2007

Gaia House, nr Newton Abbot, Devon

Five Day Silent Meditation Retreat - Day four . . . . .

Awoken again at 11:00pm last night after just an hour or so asleep. Karl, my other roomie, is on the move it seems. I leave soon after and am nicely settled in the yoga room for another decent night's sleep. Awake at just after 5:00 and I have time for 30 minutes yoga and washing, etc, before bell-ringing, which I perform with increased gusto now I am feeling less tired.

I am joined at 6:15 by the super-fast yoga person who zips through her routine in ten minutes. Her name might be Chrissie as I have noticed she does the 8:15 bellringing. My yoga is based on backbends and hip and shoulder openers - postures like half pigeon, Gomukhasana and so on. Also I remembered to have some aspirin before each of the sittings today, which helped alot.

So Qi Gong goes well first thing - Brad's energising playful session is now going very well. I will have to try and remember the sequence. For the first time in a sitting meditation, I think about Emma at college and Linda at home and hope they are both fine.

An even bigger bowl of porridge is consumed this morning with banana and an amazingly sour apple. My hour of house work has a small change and after washing up I peel, core and cut up dozens of windfall apples that are going to be made into chutneys later that day.

So far I haven't mentioned one possible development that arose as the retreat started but today there is a short note from Kate Fyfe, the executive director of Gaia House, asking if I could meet her on Wednesday after the retreat finishes. Not sure how this will progress but is an interesting possibility. More later

In Qi Gong we have moved onto more flowing sequences linked to breathing andI find myself really getting more into it. Late morning we have another group meeting with Catherine and I talked about the conflict I was feeling between the results of the creative burst I have experienced and the goals of Insight Meditation - she sets me some exercises to ground me back to the breath. I am just not sure that is what I want at the moment though

One woman is now finding much of the retreat to be funny and she says she keeps bursting out laughing about things. One guy (Tom who sits near me in the hall) is worried about fears and anxieties building up in him as he sits. The oriental lady - Cher - says she has barely slept for three weeks and is really struggling with her life at the moment, but that she is beginning to see a new path for herself going forward. Silvie, a creative person, is finding some element of grounding coming through her practice and another girl is feeling better about herself. Finally it is Mathew's turn and he surprises us all by announcing his confession - yesterday he killed one of the rabbits that live in the garden outside the meditation hall! Now I hadn't expected anyone to say that! It turned out that the rabbit was in obvious distress and close to death and so he had felt he was putting it out of its misery. But when he first spoke it sounded like he had killed just one of the regular bunnies.

After lunch I went for another walk along the public footpath behind the house. As I wait at a gate looking at the cows I am caught up and passed by the young girl who sits to my right in the hall. She is strinding along with great purpose and it occurs to me later that she might know the location of a secret shop - why walk with such purpose otherwise?

I missed one of the afternoon sessions as my back was really hurting and dosed up with aspirin I stretched out on the floor of my room thinking about the meeting with Kate tomorrow. I am really keen to be involved more with Gaia House and the possible role we are to discuss would suit very well. They need the assistance of someone with a background in finance and I can do that for them.

The late afternoon and evening sessions are the best I have had - the constant stream of ideas is dissipating and I am beginning to make some progress in my sitting it seems to me. It is a perfectly clear night and again my walking meditation is dominated by star gazing. It is our last full day today and I don't rush off to bed. Instead I return to the garden and sit looking at the stars, then have a quick wander round the library, getting to bed about 11:00. Gaia House is beginning to work its magic . . . .