Hypochondia?

A couple of times in the past week I have had cause to accompany members of the family to our doctors in Faringdon. We have been registered there for fifteen years now but it occurs to me that I have actually only been to the doctors once in that time - for an extreme sore throat seven or eight years ago.

But over the last few months I have definitely not been feeling particularly good and I have wondered whether I should be going for more regular check ups. But given the huge number of people there last time - mostly pensioners which some quite clear problems - it seems like a waste of there time for me to go.

It is pretty clear though that all is not well with my health at the moment. In the last year I have not done much exercise and my weight has ballooned by about 20lbs in one year. The cause of this seems fairly clear. I have wanted to work as hard as I can on my MSc and I have prioritzed this over exercise. Worst still, I have tended to graze on biscuits and coca cola while working. But hanging over me thoughout that period have been issues related to paid work, which could, at any time, stop my studying instantly. In many ways, this period of study has been one of the happiest in my life - the work is endlessly fascinating and I have little trouble doing ten to twelve hours a day. But the threat hanging over it at any time really affects how I feel about it overall. It is certainly enough to make me want to study each day till I'm just about exhausted, even if that means I do no exercise and eat really badly.

Reading one of Emma's fitness magazines the other day, I was struck by how many of the symptoms of IBS I seem to have. By mid to late morning I am beginning to feel bloated and this continues for pretty much the rest of the day. Clearly fizzy drinks are one major cause, but when I don't have them I have noticed that milk seems to be another cause. If I cut about both, I do feel better. But its hard to tell though really. It could be all sorts of things on the day that make a difference. But I am making an effort to cut down on coke

In the background is the growing fear that as I get older I have something more seriously wrong with me. Both my dad and grandad died of cancer but both were older than 75 when it happened. Patrick Swayze died a couple of days ago. He also died of cancer and was only 57 - that's only 10 years or so older than I am. And Keith Floyd as well - another of those people whose death makes the world a lesser place. Amazing that it is nearly 30 years since Floyd on Fish hit the screens.

So I find myself turning increasingly into some sort of hypochondriac, though not in the sense of ever actually going to a doctors about anything. Perhaps we have been watching too many medical dramas (most recently the last couple of E.Rs).

It would be so awful to feel that I only had 10 years left. There is so much more to do!